Driving isn’t an exact science.
This is due in part to the unpredictable nature of your fellow motorists, who might have their attention on other matters.
And when this happens, it can lead to some embarrassing mishaps.
One of my friends was driving the country roads of Michigan on a crisp, Sunday morning. It had rained recently and as she cornered the SUV around a tight turn, the vehicle dipped into a huge puddle.
A tidal wave rose past the car, drenching a poor Amish family on the side of the road. There was nothing to do but to drive on, as the Amish family, clad in their Sunday’s best, stood by the roadside covered in water and mud.
A group of us would go to a local theme park on weekends. After being there, we would stop at a nearby fast food joint for lunch before returning.
My friend C, who was the class valedictorian, asked for the keys to my car so he could change. After a few moments, he came back in, ghost-faced, saying he had horrible news. I thought he crashed the car.
No, turned out he locked the keys in my trunk. My poor dad had to drive an hour to come unlock us.
The art of reverse
I was the first to earn my driver’s license in high school, so I became the “guy who drove everyone around.”
During homecoming, I picked up my date then went to a friend’s house to pick her and her date up. Her parents lived in the country and had this huge fenced in yard and a snake-shaped driveway.
Pulling in wasn’t challenging, but backing out was. I went straight instead of turning, hitting the fence head on.
This created a domino effect, knocking out several sections of fencing.
I didn’t pick her up ever again.
Drives to nowhere
My dad was notorious for his “shortcuts.” He would get those AAA triptiks then ignore them once we were on the road.
On one trip, we were on our way to Buffalo from Columbus, Ohio. After arriving near Cleveland, my dad took the wrong interstate not once, but twice.
We drove around the concrete arteries of the Rustbelt for hours before setting course.
Not to be outdone, after visiting Niagara Falls, we became lost on the way back and ended up on the Peace Bridge to Canada.
A Naked Gun Moment
Driving in a city for the first time was hard. Moving around in a city populated with one-way streets only compounded matters.
I went down a one-way road when my friend Seth asked why I made the turn. A stone dropped in my stomach as I saw cars parked on the side of the road in the opposite direction and incoming traffic was bearing down on us.
I turned down an ally, encountering angry stares and heckles from my friend.